Odd search queries that brought people to me…

There’s a good deal of things that people search for that end up bringing them to my site. I keep an eye on those search queries to see what people want to read about, and y’all, I’m floored from the silly questions. I’m taking a cue from one of my internet heroines, The Bloggess, and sharing with you some of the oddest things that people searched for that brought them to poor little Pixie’s Pocket. 

I tried not to do this, but you made me, random searchers:

“what herbs can i add to an alcoholic drink to make her horny?”

Oh, honey. I assume that you are twelve years old…or at least I hope you are. There is NO magical herb that will make a girl horny. None. Zero, zilch, nada. Sure, I make aphrodisiac cordials; however, those work by increasing blood flow and tweaking hormones and will not make panties go *poof*!  The way to really impress a girl is to be engaging, polite, friendly, and most of all, well educated on the super sexy idea called “consent.”  Doing something like drugging a drink is not just illegal, it is atrocious behavior and makes you a horrible person. If you do things like that, I hereby wish for all your dangly bits to wither and fall off, and you don’t want that, do you?

“fermenting herbs using morning dew?”

I don’t know what you are talking about, but I have to admit that asking a pixie that question gets you better odds at having it answered than if you asked a “normal” person. If you take mint and put it in a jar and go outside and painstakingly harvest the morning dew and put it into that jar, it will definitely do something…but I don’t think it will ferment.  Maybe make herbal mead instead, and just call it morning dew? (I even double checked the Urban Dictionary for clarification, which I did not receive.)

“die soapwort die”

Nah, I’ll just use it instead!  Or plant it with mint and watch them struggle for dominance.

“how to prepare queens jam”

Oh, my. I’m not sure! I’m American, and have no Queen, but I’m pretty sure it is supposed to be capitalized. Probably start with grinding up diamonds and adding good tea, or something.

“are we addicted to sushi because of the sugar in the rice”

Maaaaaybe? Sugar is addictive. It could also be the fact that sushi is delicious and is the best food EVAR.