Things I love: Silly Searches

Here we go again, folks!

As much as I am a plant nerd, I’m a social media nerd. I love delving into search engine analytics to see just what brought people to my site. What exactly do the internet spiders and sentient algorithms think that I’m doing over here?

To shed some light, here are a few searches that brought people to Pixie’s Pocket:

can you smoke catnip from pet stores

Here’s where grammar is important, kids. Yes, you can smoke catnip from pet stores, but SHOULD you?  Honestly, I do add catnip to my herbal smoking blends. It isn’t going to get you high, but it does make a nice alternative for tobacco. Plus it brings all the kitties to my yard.

face made of food

Um…well, while you can totally cover your face in food or smear honey on your face for beautification purposes, I’m not sure that it qualifies as a face made out of food. Unless of course you are a zombie or a cannibal, in which case, all faces are already made out of food. Any honey or avocado paste you add is just sauce, at that point.

i love anything

Well, this is pretty true. I love flowers. I love sky. I love grass. I love finding silverware on the side of the road. I love ugly blankets from thrift stores. I love coffee, tea, and booze. I love water. I love lamp. Even when there is something I don’t love, I try to change it with my love. Love is my religion.

bajillion spider

NO. Just, no. I don’t mind grandmother spider…I used to be very scared of all eight-legged creatures, but got over my fear. But a bajillion?  Nope. No, thank you!

can you get high off golden rod

Ok…let’s have a talk here, kids. Catnip and Goldenrod will not get you high. It just won’t. Neither will that oregano you bought from the 8th grader. Just hold your horses. You don’t know it yet, but you are naturally more goofy and altered than the highest adult. The only reason they do drugs is to try to be like a kid again. Don’t rush it. Eat a bunch of sugar and drink caffeinated beverages and run in circles. There’s less of a hangover that way.

how many pixis make a loaf of bread

…I mean, normally, I’m the only bread baker in the house. Unless you mean…um…that you are making bread out of pixies? Because if that’s the case, I must firmly object to your culinary adventuring. Not only are we stringy, we’re surprisingly bitter. Plus, you’ll be coughing up glitter for months.

Thanks for reading along, folks. 😀