Vulnerability and Self Reflection

Watch this.

Yes. Phew. That makes me cry every time.

Vulnerability and Self Reflection

Being open and vulnerable with yourself is so important. To tell the truth, it can be harder than sharing vulnerability with other people. You can always expect other people to not fully understand, to not “get” you, to not appreciate how hard it is to BE you sometimes. When you are vulnerable with yourself, there is nothing to hide behind. There is just YOU.

Are you able to honestly tell yourself that you love yourself?

That’s more difficult to do than it seems at first glance.

Every morning, I try to meet my own eyes in the mirror for three full, deep breaths. I try to stare into my eyes with compassion and remind myself that I love me. I say “try” because some days are harder than others. Sometimes I’m racked with guilt over things I have done that I don’t love. Other times I use being busy as an excuse to skip a day, which is usually a load of bunk. When I make myself do it, it is worth the single minute that it takes from my morning routine. Once I make time to clear away the awkward feelings and the voices that tell me I’m being selfish and narcissistic, I find the vulnerable places that need love and acknowledgment.

Mirrors are powerful when you use them to look inside yourself.

Mirrors are a powerful distraction when you use them to harm yourself.

There is a lovely piece of property that I’ve visited in rural Virginia. It has rolling hills, naturally occurring fairy stones, and a mess o’peacocks who make the property their home.

The peacocks and peahens are free-roaming. They were there before the current landowners moved in, and boy, do they know it. Strutting peacocks call their loud HAAAAAAALP! both day and night, proudly proclaiming their superiority over the lesser peacocks at a deafening volume. There’s nothing like being woken at dawn by what sounds like a cross between a cat and a baby crying “HELP!” just outside your tent. Never heard a peacock? Check this out!

Now, back to the “lesser” peacocks.  There was one particular peacock who was not an alpha and had no chance of getting the chicks. I’m not sure why, he sure looked lovely to me, but maybe it was a personality issue. This guy had some serious aggression problems. He kept attacking shiny vehicles, even putting a dent in a black pick up truck when he caught his own eye walking by!

Since many people both young and old were coming out to the property, the landowner used his favorite method to keep that fellow busy. No one wanted any peacock attacks on small children, y’know?  A cylindrical metal trashcan was placed in the center of a side yard, and the angry peacock literally stayed around it during all waking hours. If there was light where he could see his antagonist in that trashcan, he was circling that trash can, screaming mightily, and attacking it every now and then!

Maybe he could use a little happy mirror affirmation time too, yeah?

I suppose what I’m trying to do here is to encourage you to look at yourself without aggression. Look at yourself without comparing yourself to others. For a moment, just look at yourself. Ignore the zit, the frizzy hair, the crust in the corner of your eye and remember that you are a miraculous combination of cells and spirit. Find something that you like about yourself and say it out loud (it’s ok if you whisper it at first). You might cry. You might get angry. You might feel ridiculous. Push through and find the good things.

Tell yourself, “I Love You” every day until you mean it.

You need your own acceptance.

I love you.